Pseudo-Random Bits of IT Humor

I have a collection of IT humor that I’ve accumulated over the years. I thought I’d share some of the shorter ones with you. I hope you enjoy them!

From the choice-of-metaphors dept:

“Installing [Exchange 2000] is just about as hard as firing a rocket
launcher into your data center. Just point and click.”
— Chuck Yerkes

From the tip-of-the-iceberg dept:

The purpose of IT is to seamlessly and transparently provide the other
9/10’s of the iceberg for people who need to work with chunks of floating
ice. This would explain why sysadmins are so often equipped with only poles
and kayaks and told to go out and keep the shipping lanes clear.

“Twin turbo diesel pushers of several hundred horsepower each? Why do
you need that? That’s just a little chunk of ice! Now stop web surfing
and go out there and push it out of the way in your kayak. By the
way, since the ice is getting smaller, we’ve cut the pole budget for
this month. Yours is shorter now, but you should be able to get by.”
— Strata Rose Chalup

From the overheard-on-IRC dept:

Is it just me, or does it seem appropriate for Novell to
give out pens with puzzles in them at a trade show?
Only if the pen doesn’t actually work until you solve the

From the things-never-change dept:

“On two occasions, I have been asked [by members of Parliament], ‘Pray,
Mr. Babbage, if you put into the machine wrong figures, will the right
answers come out?’ I am not able to rightly apprehend the kind of confusion
of ideas that could provoke such a question.”
— Charles Babbage

From the funnier-with-context dept:

I went all Charles Babbage on him.

From the packet-pushers dept:

“VTP is an incarnation of the Devil. He came down on the Earth and put
VTP so that engineers could make mistakes and kill their networks.”
— Greg Ferro

From the #yourrouterjokes dept:

From the business-is-good dept:

Honestly, security experts don’t pick on Microsoft because we have some
fundamental dislike for the company. Indeed, Microsoft’s poor products are
one of the reasons we’re in business.
— Bruce Schneier

From the must-be-this-old-to-get dept:

Yup. Dog was crawling around under the desk and pulled on some of the
cableK@J ^T ^$9a NO TERRIER

From the afterburner-style-anti-spam dept:

*** AB is now known as |
< |> Greetings.
< |>
< |> You will doubtless be pleased to know that the account of the
spammer you’re reporting has been been ground into fine metal
shavings, distributed amongst some 27 or so small glass vials, and
launched independently into the heart of the sun.
< |> We apologize for the inconvenience of this spam, and hope that the
rest of your day remains spam-free.
*** | is now known as AB

From the RFC-FTW dept:

“Contrary to Microsoft, Cisco engineers actually read the RFCs and implement them.”
— Ivan Pepelnjak on Microsoft NLB

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